Monday, June 29, 2015

This is NOT the Way the World Will End








I woke up this morning, and much to my irritated surprise, there was a damned cricket outside my window.

My demon cat, Puck Lucipurr was sitting my chest glaring at me because it was his breakfast time. And I needed to feed him like NOW!!!

Much to my disgust, there was a fly hanging out by my kitchen window.

No, the world as we know it, had not ended.

The stars were still shining in the sky. The birds were still singing. And Puck Lucipurr's litter box still needed to be cleaned.

Legalizing Gay Marriage didn't change a thing... Not one damned thing!

I didn't find any empty clothes lying around in empty chairs. And Kirk Cameron wasn't running up and down the streets yelling "I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!" (Scary thought!)

So the day June 26th, 2015 will go down in infamy as the day immorality reigned free in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Except in the LBGTQ part of the land, it was illegal for them to get married, so they weren't so free. And the home of the brave are scaredy cats afraid of diversity.

Due to the "Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2001, tax deductions almost doubled for married couples. People living together, and people united through civil unions didn't celebrate this benefit.

In order for a gay couple to claim a dependent on their insurance, for coverage, they would have to be married, because most insurance companies don't recognize civil unions.

In some hospitals, gay couples were denied access to their loved ones because they weren't considered immediate family.

If a gay couple married in one state and moved to a state where gay marriage was illegal, they couldn't file for divorce, they couldn't get insurance, and they couldn't be put as a spouse on their partner's death certificate.

If a spouse dies, a heterosexual couple survivor can file to claim half of the benefits of the deceased spouse.

So technically, this is not about gay marriage at all, but about the rights that heterosexual couples have that are denied to others.

And this is where the Supreme Court stepped in.

There is this amazing piece of paper here in the United States called The Constitution. And somewhere written on this piece of paper it says: "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Unitied States of America."

If you are going to give perks to the heterosexual married couples, you better damn well give them to the LGBTQ couples as well!

If you didn't want gay marriage legal, then maybe giving up those perks should have been considered as an option.

So you can blame your homophobic tendencies and bigotry on "how gross it is" to think about gay people having sex (which, concerning yourself with how "the others" have sex is sort of pervy for you anyway and you should go to gay conversion therapy). But all of this could have been fixed just by you waiving your rights to all of those perks you have celebrated over the years.

Make marriage the "unappealing option" for gays.

But you didn't. You were greedy and wanted your cake, and wanted to eat it too.

So now the big debate is when will Plumber Joe show up at the courthouse with a goat as an intended spouse?

Let's get back to The Bill of Rights for this one "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." There doesn't seem to be any mention of goats in that statement.

But let's say that Plumber Joe did show up with said goat, and the courthouse employees were scampering around looking for reasons NOT to let the dimwit get married. They may have forgotten about The Bill of Rights, The Constitution, and state laws regarding marriage.

But there are a couple of things that make marriage an institution of integrity.

1. Both parties have to be consenting adults.

2. Both parties have to have full comprehension of the obligations and  entitlements that come with marriage.

3. Both parties need to have the ability to express affirmative or negative to the questions asked.

4. Because marriage is a contract, they are obliged to agree to the contractual clauses in said contract.

In other word, show me a goat (or a child) that can meet all of those requirements, and I will approve the marriage. But wait! A child isn't a consenting adult, so it is not going to happen!

So their next argument is one of immorality. It will reign forever in our streets until God HIMSELF smotes us, just like Sodom and Gomorrah.

Except God struck down Sodom and Gomorrah because of Pedophilia and rampant sex with anyone. Even Lot tried to bale his problems out with his virgin daughters, which seems more of a sin to me than tossing the Angels to the wolves. (And I was slightly confused by his daughters that had never known men, but he had son-in-laws.)

But the reality is that the immorality occurs with promiscuity, not with marriage, unless you're promiscuous when you are married.

So why wouldn't the nay-sayers want gays to get married to save their "poor, promiscuous souls". Except I don't know a lot of gays that are promiscuous.

In the end, in my opinion, the Supreme Court decision was a disappointment because it wasn't 9 to 0 in favor of legalizing gay marriage. Because it is their job to read and interpret the constitution:

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Unitied States of America."

 

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