In 2013, the pornographic industry made 97 BILLION dollars. With 10 BILLION coming from the
. United States
People are sitting at their computers, or in front of their TVs drooling over the perfect sex or perfect spouse that they will never have.
And in the end, what you perceive as perfect sex will never happen. The woman will never orgasm 20 times in one bout (for want of a better word), the man won't have a 12 inch long accoutrement (again for want of a better word), and unless the couple spend years under a knife, neither of them will have the perfect body.
It comes down to reality and the fake world of pornography.
The unrealistic perceptions that people receive from what's on the screen, versus what's in real life, can be extremely detrimental to any normal relationship.
But let's break this down to the extreme fundamentals:
No woman's vagina is ever going to be a tight and muscular as a man's hand. So if a man is watching pornography and using his hand to pleasure himself, his hands and his eyes will rapidly become his best friends.
The human brain is an amazing organism. And the advances in technology have brought us closer and closer to understanding what makes it tick.
study on incentive motivation and
compulsive sexual behaviors (2014, Valerie Voon) shows that pornography
actually doesn't give the addicted ones sexually cravings, but in fact the
viewing is the actual addiction. Cambridge
Like drug addicts, porn addicts don't watch pornography because they want to watch it. They watch it because the need to watch it.
When they do watch pornography, porn addicts dopamine receptors are in over-drive. Nearly all drugs release dopamine (the body's very own drug of choice). But after a time, the body adjusts to the dopamine by adding more receptors to the neurons.
It's like having this little tiny aloe vera plant and giving it water. You give it just the right amount of water, and it starts growing. Then it needs more water and a bigger pot. And then two large pots and gallons of water.
Dopamine works exactly like that. The receptors get a bit more dopamine than they can handle, so they multiply. Pretty soon, the drug addict or porn addict just can't get enough to get that same dopamine rush again.
And more, what Cambridge/Voon discovered that "younger subjects had enhanced reward circuit activity when exposed to porn cues. Higher dopamine spikes and greater reward sensitivity are major factors in adolescents being more vulnerable to addiction and sexual conditioning." (yourbrainonporn.com)
There is a documentary by Jackson Katz called Tough Guise.
(I have to do a little side note here and tell you about Jackson Katz: He was a school football player and the first male to major in women's studies at U-Mass-Amherst. He is also the founder of Mentors in Violence Prevention.)
Tough Guise brings up a lot of good issues, but the most strikingly predominant issue that has stuck in my mind from watching it eight years ago was the horror film segment.
Imagine a sexy sultry scene, with two people in a hot tub, or "getting it on" in bed, and all of a sudden one of the sultry scene participants gets their throat slashed.
So here are all these young boys getting into the scene and semi-erected, and then there is blood and gore. Somehow, there's a misfire. The boy has a jolly on and then the scene explodes into violence.
Regardless of your junior high student being on the honor role, enough of these movies can seriously mess up the wiring in a boy's (or girl's) brain.
There are some people out there who have never watched a pornographic movie, or bought "girly" magazine. And they pat themselves on the back because they have never endorsed or supported companies that knowingly endorse pornography.
Unfortunately, these people are wrong.
Comcast, AT&T, and DirecTV (owned by General Motors) all have pay-per-view adult movies.
Marriot, Westin, and Hilton hotels all offer adult movies and rake in the shared profits with the providers. (pbs.org)
At one point, Yahoo! had links to "all the fun" porn websites, but in 2002 they backed off and took the links down. (In fact, they seriously police their site to make sure no strays get in!)
Omni Hotels also removed all pay-per-use adult movies.
So if you have ever stayed at one of these hotels, or subscribed to the internet with one of these providers, or bought a car from General Motors, you have unknowingly supported the pornographic industry.
The smallest detail of this whole blog is back to the unreal expectations that are created when watching these movies occasionally.
The perfect lover will never exist for anyone. There will be mistakes, losses, arguments, down time, alone time, and make up time.
This is life. Let's live in the real and the now!