Sunday, May 10, 2015

Cold, Dead Hands...




I'm sure that all of you have heard the phrase: "The only way (they'll) get my gun is if they pry it from my cold, dead hands!" (Thanks NRA for that stupid quote!)

I must confess, I laugh every time I see the t-shirt or quote.

First of all, it's been done. Waco, Texas ring any bells?

David Koresh and 82 of his Branch Davidians were served. They killed four FBI agents when they were being served. And the FBI agents returned fire and killed six of the morons.

This did not end well. In fact, it didn't end for 51 days. Koresh and his merry band of Waco Wackos holed themselves in and didn't budge. (If you ever get the opportunity to read the full story, don't... You will lose IQ points just for trying. Skim, and move on.)

In the end, the FBI and Military tossed in tear gas, and the Branch Davidians set fire to the church and all perished.

So technically, it would be prying the guns from their overly warm, burnt-like hands.

In my defense, I own a gun. I have owned a couple of guns over the years. I have a family that owns guns. And I approve of sane people owning guns.

But this "cold, dead hands" idea just needs to end!

First, the cost would be prohibitive! The federal government would have to get a search warrant for every single building in the US! That process would bankrupt the government! (Oh, wait! Our government is already bankrupt!)

Second, being a little short of FBI agents that would need to search every house in the US, they would need to get all branches of the military to join in. Including (but not limited to) the National Guard, the Coast Guard, the ROTC, and Color Guard at the local junior highs and high schools!

Third, would be the idea that not everyone is going to be honest about having a gun. Imagine a fresh faced junior high girl or boy knocking on your door saying: "Excuse me sir, do you have any guns that we can confiscate?"

Are you getting the picture yet?

So let's forget about the Color Guard and go with a 20 year old Marine from Iowa knocking on your door with a warrant. He will say something like, "Sir, I will need to search the premises for guns." He will hand you the paper with the warrant, and look expectantly at you. His finger will be on the trigger of his M-16, so he is cocked, locked, and loaded.

You are standing there in your underwear with the New York Times in one hand, and a beer in the other.

Are you going to say to yourself: "I am going to shoot one of this country's Marines, in the face, just so I can keep my .38 Special?"

I am laying odds that that 20 year old kid can pump out more rounds in 10 seconds than you can in 3 minutes.

Would you shoot one of our military personnel just for following orders?

Best option is to bury it in your backyard, unless we live in a Big Brother Society where all of our neighbors will squeal on us. (Oh wait! We are already there!)  

This is one of those scenarios where you can't win, even if you win.

You either hand over your guns willingly, hide your guns, shoot that poor Marine that is just following orders, or barricade yourself in and wait for the tear gas.

Not that this is ever going to happen, and it's ridiculous to even think it will. But the options aren't options, and the gun will be pried from your fingers, one way or another.

But let's go the other way on this and look at it from the 20 year old Marine's eyes for a second.

Recently, Colorado implemented new gun safety laws (thank you James Holmes and Columbine). I appreciate the fact that the lawmakers are trying to find ways to keep people safe. Reducing the size of magazines for guns sold, I'm okay with that.

But several sheriffs came out and said they weren't going to enforce it. They weren't going to police it, and they refuse to try.

And they were right.

The lawmakers were so busy trying not to step on the toes of the NRA and the gun owners, that they ended up stepping on their own toes.

If it is a law that can't be enforced, then what is the responsibility of law enforcement in this?

They can't stop Plumber Joe (he shows up every once in a great while) from driving across the Wyoming border and buying a 15 round magazine for his gun.

I can't see the military commanders sending their troops into cities, towns, and farms to confiscate arms. If they were asked, they would probably laugh insanely, or laugh at the insane... one or the other.

So the next time you hear someone say this, just assume that they are as dumb as dog snot, and move on.

It will save you more IQ points...


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