Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Where Would the World Be?


Where Would the World Be?

 


There has been a lot of anger and homophobia directed at Gay People over the years. Gradually, the political community has backed away from laws that ban homosexual behavior, but they still treat the LGBTQ community with disdain, partially from ignorance and partially from fear.

But let's theoretically create a world without Gays for just a moment, please?

Let's start with the United States of America.

Our political system was founded on the principles of Democracy.

Those principles started with Alexander the Great (gay), Hadrian (gay), Plato (gay), Socrates (gay), and Aristotle (gay).

So our governing system is based on principles designed by a bunch of gay men?

We have a democracy in our society that we praise and its philosophies were that of gay men from thousands of years ago! YAY! Look impressed.

So the first thing that we have to do is dismantle our government, completely. We should probably go with a Theocracy (for those Christians out there), or a Monarchy (for those that don't want the whole religious mess), or a Dictatorship (for the total idiots).

Next, let's talk about construction. Do-it-yourself chores around the house.

From this day forward, you should never measure anything. When you decide you want to put hardwood floors in, you should just fly by the seat of your pants and give a good guess at the dimensions.

Why?

Because the father of Geometry, Archimedes was (you guessed it) gay.

Not only was Archimedes the father of Geometry and the bisection of an angle and the theory of the Spiral, he is famous for running down the streets buck naked yelling "Eureka! Eureka!". He found the theory for weight distribution, thus discovering the variable for proving that a crown made for the king was not all gold.

He also invented a lot of weapons, like the Catapult, the Claw, and the "Death Ray" that burned attacking ships in the harbor with a process of mirrors and magnifying glass.

So the next time you think 8 X 10 X 10, you are thanking a gay man for his genius. SO STOP IT!

Let's talk flight.

Hang gliders, parachutes, airplanes, and jets all have a ribbed design to allow for smooth travel. This ribbed design was originally written down by Leonardo Da Vinci, who (as we all know) was gay (possibly Transgender).

He thoroughly studied and documented birds in flight, and eventually came up with his own ribbed design for wings so that man could eventually fly.

So from now on, when you want to get from point A to point B, you will have to give up flying. You will have to sail the Seven Seas, roll down the highway at a speed that will be enforced by our dictator, monarch, king, pope... whatever.

Let's talk sunglasses, prescription glasses, and reading glasses.

Comfy to wear and they help us see.

And the theory behind them came from a man called Sam Foster (you betcha: GAY).

He also invented telescopes, so we will have to wipe all our knowledge of the outside world from our mind, because what we know, we do because of a gay man.

Finally, let's break this down to a nothing world for you: You will have to give up all your computers. Sorry folks! You have just entered the dark ages!

Why you ask?

Because the first computer was designed and invented by Alan Turing (Gay, or a poof as they called them in England in the 1940s).

Not only did he build the first computer, but he used it to crack the German code that baffled the entire world. So in essence, the Nazis would have overrun the entire world, millions more people would be dead, and we would all be speaking German and wouldn't have to worry about how our country is run, because it would be run by Nazis.

So the next time you say that gays have no place in this world, say it with your hands raised to the sky in absolute stupidity, because sometimes you get exactly what you deserve!

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